


Star Wars : Balance of the Force

by Maxitrash



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, But also not too much, Canon who ?, Cause I'm a slut for those, F/M, FinnRose too maybe, Fix-It, Hux is coming back stronger than ever, I don't have a plan, I don't know her ?, I ship FinnPoeROse help, I'm Just Writing As I Go, Isolation, M/M, Multi, Oscar deserved it, Pryde can choke, Rey Needs A Hug, Reylo - Freeform, Rose will get a big role, Virgin Kylo Ren, Virgin Rey (Star Wars), Who's palpatine, Who's tros, You'll get a happy ending, also i'm illiterate, and the mistakes, currently losing my mnd, forever in denial, i have a vague idea, possibly stormpilot, reylo is endgame bitch wassup, she deserved it, smut if I don't cringe while writing it, so don't mind the poor writing, the author do not fuck with tros
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-25 00:34:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22007014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maxitrash/pseuds/Maxitrash
Summary: One year after the battle of Crait, the Resistance is still hiding from the First Order, surviving on hope, embodied by the young Rey from Jakku. Barely accepting her new status and duties, Rey will have to explore the deepest part of her soul to unleash her true potential.At the same time, the First Order knows a period of semi-peace as the new Supreme Leader struggles from his broken soul. Ben Solo might not fit to rule over such an organisation especially when the Force keeps connecting him to his sworn enemy.
Relationships: Finn & Rose Tico, Kylo Ren/Rey, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 6
Kudos: 47





	1. Isolation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a year since Crait, since they first bonded, touched hands and last talked. Rey and Ben find themselves more alone than ever. Fortunately, the Force isn't done with them, and the bond is stronger than ever.  
> The Resistance is being rebuilt by the legendary Leia Organa and her most trusted rebels: Finn, Poe and Rose while the First Order keeps it law... for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2012's me would be so proud of me. 7 years without writing. JJ look what you made me do.  
> You can find me on Tumblr @maxitrash.

Rey felt it again. Every time it caught her by surprise even when she told herself that she was used to it. Goosebumps, heartbeats pounding in her chest, silence, blur and then him. 

Kylo Ren felt it too. His breath stopped for a split second before going back to his task. Not letting her attract all his attention.

It had been months since they last talked. The force bond was still connecting them for some reason, but both acted as it wasn’t something, as if it didn’t mean more. Of course, it piqued their curiosity from time to time, but the implications were too dangerous for them to explore more their bond. More than that, the prospect of talking to each other was too painful.

Even after a year, some wounds weren’t fully healed. 

Rey stood up, keeping her eyes on her messy desk where the Jedi books where resting, wide opened. She did not understand everything, her reading skills were lacking and C3PO lessons were helpful but she couldn’t bear the droid for too long. Finn knew how to read but he was always away on missions across the galaxy with Poe and Rose. Not letting disappointment fill her heart more, she grabbed her staff and ran across the base to find the General, letting in the process, Kylo behind. The bond closed.

The Supreme Leader felt relieved as Rey disappeared from his sight. Sitting on his bed, tired, the tall figure forced his body to function for a bit longer and dragged himself to his desk. It was mostly tidy and showed the remains of a younger Ben Solo, calligraphy pens and inks pushed to the corner. Since Snoke’s death, he hadn’t had one day off, he was always aboard of the Star Destroyer, letting his past tedious task to the Knights or Hux. He couldn’t bear the cold and metallic walls of his quarters anymore. Leaning over, the gloved fingers pushed a button. 

“Prepare my ship”  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
“Did you find something useful this time? 

"Leia, I-, yes, well I think", Rey was still panting for her race. "But it’s somewhere not something." 

Leia Organa gave Rey one of her worried look, she had lost so much lately and wasn’t sure she could handle losing Rey.  


" Rey, are you leaving again? "

The question she was dreading more than anything. Of course, she had to leave, she had to train and to learn more about the Jedi Order but how could she leave her friends and the Resistance behind.

After Crait, the Resistance kept putting all its hope on her, her, a nobody from Jakku. She didn’t even finish her Jedi training and now, she was the new face of the long-forgotten Jedi order, of the barely surviving Resistance. 5 months ago, Rey was hurt in a fight, since then, she hadn’t left the base for her safety. Although she could appreciate the tall trees and all the animals living on this planet, her duty was elsewhere, she could feel it.

" I- I must General. I have to learn so many things, and I am not useful tied up to my desk, reading for hours. I have decoded a map someone had previously worked on, maybe Luke. The notes helped me understand, I think it’s linked to the Jedis, it’s in the outer rim, a planet named Okkrion. I’ve checked, it’s not affiliated to the First Order and the inhabitants seem rather primitive. I’ll be safe, I’ll just need so-"

Rey was stopped by Leia’s hand on her shoulder, the young girl was breathless after such monologue. 

" Rey, I understand, but Finn comes back tomorrow, and you might want to be there and think a bit more about this. It's true that your presence here isn’t all that necessary, but the Millennium Falcon might need another pair of hands."

Rey was visibly frustrated. She wanted to see Finn, but Poe… He was a great pilot and sometimes leader, but he had rubbed Rey the wrong way too many times. First, it was comments about the Force, then her training and lately, he was simply passive-aggressive all the time. They were indeed doing the dirty jobs and she was down there, reading books, but she had to. Her job wasn’t to trade with bounty hunters and rich snobs to get some help, her job was to follow Luke’s path, to bring balance to the Force and win this war one way or another.

" Fine, I’ll wait."

Leia followed the young girl leaving. She had changed since Ahch-To, something had happened, and she was even more secretive now that her frustration had built up. The General sought, she wished to have more time to advise and talk to her new protégé, but the war was raging, and the Resistance needed directions. She found herself almost regretting thinking like that because it was the same state of mind that made her lose her son. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The nights on Ajan Kloss were so warm if it wasn't for the humidity, Rey could have thought she was back on Jakku. Laying on her mattress, the sacred texts felt wet in the palms. The hotness made her sleepy, and without realizing, the book slid and fell onto her chest. It didn't wake her and she allowed herself to drift away even if she had so much to do, even if the feeling was coming back, even if the bond was opening. 

Kylo felt it at the same time but it was different than earlier, quieter on her side. This time he took an instant to stop what he was doing, this time he allowed himself to be distracted for a bit because he knew she wouldn't know, he knew she was asleep. She was in front of him, safe and sound. He dared to approach her and saw the sweat drops on her brow. She was so close, he could have wiped them off. He stayed a bit, watching her and wondered why the force was showing him this and if she ever saw him in such intimate manners before, she must have.

"Supreme Leader !" Hux ' voice echoed in the corridor taking Ben off-guard, who was already joining the General, hoping to not wake Rey up.

" What do you want? " He responded mechanically, feeling the bond closing as they were walking away.

" I have learned your departure and I must inform you that I wasn't informed of your plans. May I know where you intend to go?"

" No."

Hux' face was turning red but he knew he had to contain himself in front of the Supreme Leader. If there was one thing Kylo Ren loved about his status was the ability to annoy Armitage Hux without consequences. As they entered the main hangar, Ren added jokingly: 

" Don't worry, I'll be back soon, I'm not letting you control anything for too long. " 

And on that, he climbed in his Tie Silencer and left without looking back. For the first time in a while, Ben felt relieved and focused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter next time I get that anger rush against TROS (so very soon).  
> You can find me on Tumblr @maxitrash


	2. Haunted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn, Poe and Rose finally back, but their reunion with Rey will unlock something in the young Jedi. Feeling it too, Kylo Ren is determined to learn more about the Force.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on Tumblr @maxitrash.
> 
> The Reylo reunion is coming.

Rey had already packed most of her belongings when the Millenium Falcon appeared in the blue sky of Ajan Kloss, for one moment, she wasn't sure she wanted to leave.

"Finn !" 

The young girl embraced her friend in her arms who returned the favour. The two of them hadn't had a moment to breathe or talk since Crait and she had so much to say, to admit. She had tried to introduce the idea of force bond to her closest friend but she lacked words to explain something so delicate and controversial. 

BB-8 joined the hug bumping into Rey's leg. She came down to him and checked on his antennas. Everything seemed in order. Behind the droid, she could see Poe and Rose talking, they seemed mad but Rey didn't bother talking to her as long as he was here.

"So how was it? Did you find any useful ally out there?"

" Ugh, not really. The First Order operated a big raid on Uuron a month ago, the population is still hostile to any new visitor and shoot at us. We got out thanks to Poe, but the Millenium is pretty damaged an-"

Rey ran to Chewie without listening to Finn's story when she saw the big desperate and angry Wookie, his beloved ship was almost in ruins. And it was because of Poe.

" What have you done to the sid-"

" And what have YOU done to help huh Rey ?"

Poe's tired voice hit her hard, she could feel her friends' eyes watching them. Rey turned around ready to scold him for his insolence.

" REY! Stop please, we had a really bad journey and we just want to get some rest. " Finn reprimanded. " We could have used the face of the Last Jedi... One of the guides told us about force-sensitive children"

" At the rate of HER training, those kids will never be useful to us" Poe added.

Rey was fed up, she worked so hard and they wanted to replace her... for kids? This wasn't right, this wasn't their war. Her fist was tightly clutched, she would have loved to snub this ignorant pilot, taking a step towards him, the world seemed almost silent. Who was he to judge her training like that? Rey didn't even realize her posture, she was almost feral, feeding the Force with her anger. It was a deep feeling, something beyond human emotions. It came from her very core and burnt every inch of her body like lava, clogged her thought process. 

"Rey that's enough!"

The deep and motherly voice of General Organa punched Rey back to reality. She hadn't noticed that she was force-lifting every rock surrounding a visibly concerned Poe.

" You come with me, and you too Rose!"

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kylo Ren had a messy landing, he had felt it, the pull to the light, it was stronger than ever and in some odd way, it hurt him, stripping his soul apart. Something had happened in the Force but he wasn't quite sure what it was. Did Rey feel it too?

Almost dizzy, the Supreme Leader stripped himself from his ship. Under his long cape and countless layers, he started shivering, his dark eyes filled with big tears and a gentle mist was coming out of his mouth when he finally exhaled. Ren lighted his red sabre, longing for warmth and finally took a step. Around him, late spring had granted this planet its most ardent glow and he couldn't believe how cold he was under the pale sun of this familiar planet. 

"... Enough !"

Ben Solo stroke a tree down when caught by surprise by a familiar voice. Warmth came back to him at once which made him gasp. The forest was oddly silent and only his troubled blade disrupted the quiet place. Focusing on his senses, Ben decided that the Force was playing with his mind. Leia, his mother, wasn't here. Yet he heard her, he could recognize her distinctive voice even after a decade without a word with her. 

His soul was deeply agitated, he knew where he had to go. Okkrion was full of secrets and Ben knew what to look for to find them.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

" You were right Rey, you need to go"

" Leia I'm so sorry, please, I've made a mista-"

"Rey, I understand, we all have our weaknesses but I realize that you being here, away from your friends and frustrated didn't serve any purpose, it has just fueled something that I cannot understand, maybe Luke could have... Yesterday, I thought about what you told me and I want you to follow the Jedi texts so I did some researches. There's a long-forgotten Force temple on Okkrion, I want you to go and come back more focused, ready to help us."

Pushing down a button, the hologram of the temple appeared in front of Rey's runny eyes.

" Rose, please show her"

Rose and her petite figure appeared beside the hologram. She was so pale and marked, yet, she always had this excited and positive energy that Rey admired and envied.

" I worked on it during the mission but the parts are too ancient for me to do anything with them. Sadly, I don't think it's repairable, it seems to miss a vital piece which I can't replace without the proper instructions."

Inside her hands, rested in a box the remains of the blue lightsaber Rey had found on Takodana more than a year ago. She had untrusted it to Leia, the souvenir of Ben and her, facing each other, fingertips touching ever so slightly. Mimicking that moment, Rey caressed the broken handle and felt the bond opening at the very second her skin touched the cold metal. Scared to be seen in such state, Rey lifted her hand as if she had been burnt and closed the box.

The bond was almost closed now, but she could see the shape of Ben Solo fading in the corner of the room, he seemed to be resting. She remembered how safe and trusted she felt when they talked back on Ahch-to, back in the elevator. As the bond closed, she saw him turn his gaze to her but it was already too late.

Leia was right, Rey needed to work on her Jedi training, she needed to be more focused and ready. Her opponents weren't going to wait to strike her down. 

" I'll take care of it. I'm already packed. "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm soft for Ben Solo being a Force nerd. 
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr @maxitrash.


	3. The Force Temple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey arrives on Okkrion and penetrates the Force temple, a sanctuary that has many secrets and surprises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back! I hope you'll enjoy this chapter.   
> You can find me on Tumblr @maxitrash and ask me anything about this fic.

Okkrion was greener than expected. Rey had seen many forest planets since her departure from Jakku, but this was something else. The trees were humongous and most of them didn't have leaves but dark green needles. The planet had similarities with the Starkiller base, however, she rathered the warmth of this outer rim planet. 

Rey had sent one last message to her friends with her coordinates before venturing into the woods. She had landed not too far from the Temple but followed the Jedi texts to guide herself. The vegetation was thicker and denser and the young girl began the doubt. Would this temple be still standing after so many years?

Taking one step too far without looking, Rey saw herself hurtling down a hill. Almost instinctively she reached out and cushioned her fall, if it wasn't for the Force she would have had broken ribs, at best. Dizzy, Rey rose from the floor to meet the faces of some giant statues. The temple was indeed still standing, and it was glorious. The door was absurdly huge and was framed by four colossi that seemed to watch her, maybe Jedis from another time, way before she was born. Entering the sanctuary felt so forbidden and Rey felt so out of place that she had to adjust her stance and clothes. 

She wasn't afraid of the dark, nights on Jakku looked like the void, but she wished to have her lightsaber to guide herself into this labyrinth. She was almost certain she was hearing ghosts whispering behind her ears but when her sight adjusted, she found herself alone, surrounded by columns. She moved forward.  
______________________________________________________

The temple seemed infinite, out of time, in its bubble. If it weren't for the cracks in the stones Rey would have forgotten that the sun once shone on this planet. Entering in a new part of the sanctuary, Rey thought she had seen enough to not be surprised anymore. This room was different, an odd glow lighted it seemingly from nowhere, the walls were humongous mirrors engraved at the top.

Rey decided to take a break and note down the inscription as she couldn't decipher them. She could see the reflection of her silhouette, she seemed so small here. Suddenly, she felt something new through the Force. 

" What are you doing here ?"

Rey jumped and turned around in a heartbeat. Those weren't mirrors, those were glasses separating her and her worst nightmare.

" Are you following me now?" She hissed.

Kylo Ren gazed at Rey. He couldn't believe she was right there in front of him. If it wasn't for those force awful glasses he would have run to her, stand beside her, as she did a year ago. 

"Why would I? I see you every day."

" Leave me. This isn't a place for yo -"

" What do you know about this place anyway Rey?"

Kylo seemed to analyze her and it made Rey uncomfortable. Seeing him peeked at the Jedi texts she had in her hand, the young girl hid them from him. 

"Did you find my notes helpful?" Ben hadn't seen those texts in ages but he remembered them so well. He could almost see himself, a lifetime ago, so small and light, decoding every page of those books with his former Master... Luke.

Rey didn't know what to say, she was here thanks to... Ben? This feeling she had for this place, this need to leave the Resistance... Was the Force messing with her? His words made her shiver and she let the book fall to the floor as if it was cursed.

" I said leave me." Rey was seething. She knew he wasn't going to listen to her, such as he did on Ahch-to, he was only interested in the Force, he didn't care about anything else.

" The Force reunited us here Rey. This place is special, it's a Force temple, not a Jedi temple nor a Sith one. Look at the inscriptions. "

Rey wouldn't obey him. She was watching his every move and was glad that the glass separated them. She could see him tired of her defensive behaviour and couldn't care less.

" 'Ardent blizzard and wintry desert meet and unite at the end of the Abyss.'" 

His deep voice was echoing inside the sanctuary and gave Rey the chills. These words were like incantations and made her feel light-headed.

"I'm a bit rusty but you get the idea. This glass is a Force artefact and calls Force users to resolve the most ancient war, one that the universe has known for millenniums: the imbalance of the Force. Why do you think it brought us together and showed us this? Why us? We spent a year watching over each-"

" Shut up!" Rey screamed, she couldn't bear his words. Deep down she knew he was onto something but she couldn't let him continue messing with her mind like that. "I'm not watching over anyone and especially not you. You're a liar and manipulator-"

"I would never lie to-"

"I said shut up. I'm never going with you. You haven't changed a bit, Kylo Ren. Still perpetrating atrocities, you killed Snoke only to maintain the terror he had created. What you did on Uuron disgust me, and you disgust me."

She was feeling it again, the lava pouring into her veins, the fire in her heart. She couldn't let anger govern her, and before it was too late Rey picked up her stuff and ran away from him. This time, she could hear his voice calling for her being the glassed wall.

\----------------------------------------------------

Ben was shivering as he ran. He had found a path to follow Rey and wasn't planning to let her leave again. The race was long and tiring for his freezing body, but Ben was determined. 

He hadn't penetrated the sanctuary through this aisle but he knew it, he remembered the big columns and the darkness. Luke had made him face the glassed wall when he was his padawan. But the inscription was different and didn't mean anything to him anymore. 

Ben found himself weeping icy tears. Did he lose her again? Was it over? Was the Force joining them for nothing? Passing the great door, Ben could feel the heat of the sun on his pale face but nothing seemed to bring warmth.

"What are you doing to me?"

Rey was right behind him. She looked like a wild animal, her voice sounded nothing like her and she seemed to be about to implode. Ben could barely talk, all his muscles were tensed and moving them was agonizing. He dropped to his knee begging for the slightest glow of warmth. In front of him, he could see Rey suffocating on the ground. Images of her being tortured by Snoke flashed in his mind. He couldn't tolerate to see her like that again. Concentrating his last force on her, Kylo dragged himself to her.

"Don't... touch..."

Ben reached out, and as he dared on Ahch-to, he touched her hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4 is coming soon, I'll try to update the fic at least once a week. I planned a bit more what I wanted to do with the story. I really want to thank all the readers and those who left kudos and comments on the last chapters, it means the world to me and I would never have believed some of you would be interested.
> 
> Anyway find me on Tumblr @Maxitrash, posts related to this fic are tagged #BotF.


	4. Farewell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben wakes up after passing out and takes care of Rey who's still distrustful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want them to kiss but still too early. It's coming tho. Legit torturing myself with the slow-burning shit but it's gonna be worth it.
> 
> Find me on Tumblr @Maxitrash.  
> Fic tag: #BotF

Leia woke up in sweat. It was the same feeling as that dark night she had lost her boy. Watching the stars above her, she wondered if she'll ever be able to see him again, to hug him like they used to. She remembered their last embrace every time his name, well his new "name", was brought up. There were thousands of stars in the sky of Ajan Kloss, yet, none to guide her to him. 

"Ben..." 

Leia wasn't skilled with the Force and didn't understand it fully. But the Force didn't need to be rationally understood to be useful. Letting her instinct lead the way, the old general felt a piece of her soul leave her heart and float directly to that son she never ceased to love.

_________________________________________________

On another planet, Ben Solo felt his heart fill with warmth and love. It was such a foreign emotion for him that he opened his eyes and rose his upper body at once. Lost in the dark, Ben wondered if what he had experienced before passing out had killed him. Painfully, the dark-haired man took his sabre and lighted it, granting his eyes a red glow to see a bit more. Right beside him, Rey's body was lying on the floor. Their fingers were still touching and his were burning. Ben lifted his hand and gently caress her neck searching for a heartbeat. Sensing her pulse of life, he relaxed and finally stood up. His body wasn't aching anymore, he could only feel the dormant tenderness of his muscles. How long had they been asleep? 

" Rey..."

His voice was soft and almost caring, his movements abrupt and awkward as he bent over her and took her his arms. She was sleeping heavily and that was good. Making his way back to his Tie, Ben couldn't refrain himself from peeking at her. It was the same cautious and bashful looks he gave her when the bond was opening, the same peek as when he took her in his arm the first time around when they hated each other... when he had to hate her... and even then, he couldn't. He had sworn to destroy her and at the very moment he could have, at her weakest state, he was helping her, carrying her, watching over her. 

______________________________________________________

The sun had just rose above the trees when Rey finally gained her consciousness back. Her eyelids were so heavy, her body so sore and her mouth so dry, she was almost begging to go back to sleep. Around her, muted noises she couldn't recognize and the sharp smell of pine she knew from the Starkiller Base. 

In the darkness of her closed eyes, she could see flashes of her aching body, her confrontation with Kylo Ren, his agony, the coldness of his fingertips touching hers. Remembering their odd accounter, Rey rose from panic. The bright light made a squeal and retreat like an animal. Around her, her stuff scattered on the dirty ground, her lightsaber missing, someone had stolen her belonging. Letting her sight examine her surroundings a bit more, she noticed the First Order ship that was so obviously Ben's. Rey approached the ship carefully, prepared to strike him, barely breathing and still wobbly. She could see his shadow behind the viewports, she rose her hand, ready Force-stunt her opponent.

"I wouldn't do that."

Ben had appeared from behind her and seemed to have refrained himself from grasping her wrist to stop her. The shadow wasn't his. Turning to face him and trying her attack again, the Supreme Leader finally grabbed her hand tightly and examined it. Rey was frustrated but didn't say anything. What was all that about? 

" So you have it too."

Ben raised his hand in front of her face and showed her his fingertips. The very ends of his fingers were marked by a red dot, hers were similar. Thinking about it, it was the same place he had touched her before passing out. Her hand in his was so hot and tiny but it didn't hurt. Wasn't it the first time they touched... almost casually?

"Did you have a vision? I can't remember much but the Force woke me up."

Rey withdrew her hand rapidly as he spoke. How could he act as if nothing had happened between them? How could he act as if they were a team? 

"Cut it Kylo. Why am I here? Did you expect me to leave with you on your ship? Didn't I make it clear that I wasn't joining you anytime soon?"

Ben lowered his arm defeated by her behaviour. 

" You may not have noticed that you weren't tied up. You can leave if you want to but I also know it's not the first time this occurs, isn't it? I felt it too. I thought something had happened to you, then the Force led me here and there you are. You can run as far as you want but can't deny the truth of our bond."

" I can't, it's true but I'm never working with you. I know your ways all too well."

"Is that true? You always seem to know the whole story Rey, but when confronted with the truth you run away or run to me."

His words were hurtful and moved her. She remembered how helpless she felt on Ahch-to, how she knew she had to talk to him, how gentle he was, how safe he made her feel... Yet, Ben had betrayed her by coming back to Kylo Ren. Rey couldn't face him anymore, her feelings for her opponent were so contradictory to their situation. Sometimes, alone in her Ajan Klauss bedroom, she would think about him and what could have happened if she had taken his hand... and usually, the bond would open as she started fantasizing. 

Ben was painfully aware of the effect his words had on her and wish he had been more careful. Ben reached out and force-lifted the blue lightsaber they had broken in half a year ago. 

" I took a look. Ancient parts are not easily found. You should- "

" Rey! Rey! A squadron of Tie fighters are approaching Okkrion, you need to get out! "

Ben was cut off by Rey's commlink. On the other side, Finn was yelling her to flee the planet. Rey looked at it mortified, how could Ben do that?

"Kriff!"

Ben was rushing to his tie, he hadn't expected that at all.

"How could you Kylo? I thought you say I could leave?"

" I didn't ask them to come!"

He turned to her and what he saw broke his heart. She had already gathered her stuff and was about to leave him without letting him another chance, without letting him explain himself. 

" Farewell Kylo"

And on that, she was running through the woods. Ben could have followed her but it would make her even angrier at him. 

" Here Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, if you dare land on this planet or even approach its atmosphere you're dead pilots. Give me General Hux."

\---------------------------------------------

Rey entered her ship briskly. 

" Finn! I'm coming back! Tell me about the squadron. How many? Ho-"

"Rey! We thought we lost you! The squadron has left, be careful it could be a trap"

Rey felt it and somehow she knew where to look. On the other side of the main viewport, Ben was lying down on the floor and seemed pretty done and tired. Sensing the bond opening too, he rose on his arms and looked straight into Rey's eyes.

"I can help you if you let me, Rey. "

Flustered by his words, the young scavenger started the engine, avoiding his gaze at all cost. He sighted and Rey's heart hurt.

" You should go on Y'ness for the lightsaber."

He was still helping her. Confused, Rey peeked at him. There was not even a fleck of malice in his eyes, it was something else, something Rey couldn't interpret. Ben sprawled again as the bond was closing. She could still see him in a blur, raising his hand and examining the scar on his fingertips. As he disappeared completely, Rey felt her fingers and belly tickle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter coming very soon. Hope you like this one. Sorry for the slow pathing, the action is coming very soon either fights or smooching. 
> 
> Find me on Tumblr @Maxitrash.  
> Fic tag: #BotF


	5. Burdened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey is still disturbed by her accounter with Ben on Okkrion. At the same time, Ben unveils his new plan for the First Order.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 3 am and I couldn't go to sleep without finishing this.   
> Next chapter coming in a couple of days because I have a job application to do and I need to work on it. 
> 
> As always, you can find me on Tumblr @Maxitrash  
> The tag for this fic is #BotF

Rey landed on Ajan Klauss, eyes filled with tears. She could see Finn, Rose and Leia surrounding her ship and it made her realize she wasn't relieved to be there. Rey had lied for a year about what happened on Ahch-to, what happened to Ben, the bond that linked them through the stars... Her eyes locked on Leia's who seemed more tired and older than usual. She couldn't tell them what happened, could she? 

Getting out of her ship, everyone was watching her in silence but Finn who was already running to her.

"Rey! Are you okay? You weren't responding, we thought-"

"Oh Finn"

Rey couldn't even finish her sentence, she was starting to feel dizzy and uneasy into her friend's arms. Getting out and stumbling towards Leia, Rey couldn't even hear what the General was saying to her. Rey fell onto her knees in front of her.

"Ben..."

And this was the last word she spoke before passing out.

______________________

Rey woke up in a medical bed still confused and groggy. Her sight was extremely foggy but she could see a silhouette beside her, so familiar and caring... Yet, absent and distant. Rey drifted away again, this time, appeased and comforted. 

______________________

Ben entered his new throne room followed by General Hux and the Knights of Ren. Their steps resonated in the empty room, simply decorated by a black throne on a platform. Kylo didn't like it, traditions didn't mean much to him but he knew it meant something to many people and this would be the symbol of his power. Sitting in it felt wrong, from the top of his perch he felt lonely, although, the warmth that woke him up on Okkrion was still accompanying him.

" It came to my attention that not only some of my orders weren't followed, but that a raid that wasn't ordered by me took place on Uurion. I will no longer accept such insolent acts even when I'm gone. Do you understand General Hux?"

Hearing his last name made the general tenser than ever, in response, he lowered his head. 

" I have a new plan for the First Order. Snoke guided us well but his intentions were flawed by his ego. We will not win if we give the populations justifications to hate us and rebel. What we need is to taint the reputation of the Resistance but not destroy them -"

" But Supreme Leader we need to get revenge for what that scummy scavenger did to Sno-"

Ben scowled Hux who had this awful habit of cutting people off. To his delight, a simple angry look at him was enough to shut him down.

"We will, in times. For now, I want our troops to go on the Asath system"

" Asath? But Ren, we -"

"I know what Snoke asked you to do there but I want to change our image. We will free the mine slaves and chose as their leaders, people we can trust. I will personally meet them here later."

Hux seemed troubled and uneasy. Winning wars by freeing people wasn't his way of doing things. Ren might have been a good fighter, he wasn't a fine strategist, thought Hux. 

"Knights, I want all of you to visit the 5 moons of Asath, I have heard of Sith cultists that might want to join us, use my name advisedly. Report to me as soon as possible."

Tired of talking, Ben dismissed them with a wave and dragged himself back to his quarters. Exhausted, he finally allowed himself to drift away for a minute, letting that warm feeling that woke him up on Okkrion in his heart flow freely inside him. Flashes of his younger self overwhelmed his mind. Usually, it was nightmares and dark memories but tonight, he dreamed of a time he had forgotten a long time ago, he was so small and innocent and light, surrounded by figures he didn't dare face. In front of him a shiny lake and the orange sunset. Falling even more deeply in his peaceful slumber, Ben Solo refused to fight the pull to the light. 

______________________

Rey finally gained her consciousness back. The silhouette wasn't here anymore but she still felt peaceful and serene thinking about this person, was it a dream? was it a projection of her mind? A person she invented like she fantasised her parents? Trying to get up, she was interrupted by med-droids chattering at her to get back to bed. Pushing them back, Rey wobbled to the door which opened in front of her. Submerged by the bright sun of Ajan Klauss, Rey felt her lung fill with warm air. Around her, the Resistance seemed as busy as always, she could see familiar faces in the crowd but none of her friends.

"Rey ?"

Rose Tico was standing dumbfounded behind Rey who hadn't realized she looked pretty rough. 

"You should go back to your bed, I'll inform Leia you're finally up."

" I'm fine Rose, thank you. How long was I asleep?"

"Almost 24 hours! We try to wake you up but you seemed elsewhere"

Rose's enthusiasm made Rey feel less guilty for not working for so long.

" You sleep talked most of the time and Leia forbid us from disrupting you. "

Rey was interiorly begging the Force that she hadn't unveiled one of her secrets. How long was she going to lie to them? Leia, Finn and Rose trusted her to defeat Kylo Ren and the First Order but just thinking about it, she felt her scarred hand ache. How could she betray them and not fulfil this destiny they inflicted on her? She wasn't the last Jedi, she never was one in the first place, yet, it's all they saw in her. Whereas, Ben... he knew about the mirror and what he told them... and maybe she should have listened to him.

" Rey? Are you here?"

Startled by Rose's voice and hand on her shoulder, the scavenger was forced to come back to the present moment.

"Haha, were you thinking about boys?"

Following Rose's gaze, Rey spotted two young pilots looking at them playfully. Rey felt her cheek blush and laughed it off. In some way, she was indeed thinking about a boy. Rose's chuckle was rapidly lost in the loud assembly alarm. Both girls started running to reach the main hall where Leia, Poe and Finn were already waiting. Rey greeted them from afar, they all seemed surprised to see her here, but Leia's look was concerning. 

" We have new information about the First Order. One of our allies in the Asath system informed us that thousands of troopers landed on the planet. They have yet to learn what they are planning to do here as Asath was annexed two years ago under Snoke's orders, most of the inhabitants are now enslaved. So far, the troopers shut down most of the mines which seems sketchy. Asathian pledged allegiance to us before, we should be prepared to help them!"

As Poe marked a pause, people started talking amongst themselves, some were cheering, others contesting.

" Please calm down! Asath has 5 moons, one of our associates warned us that the Knights of Ren were spotted on 4 of them but most importantly, Kylo Ren's ship was detected near Y'ness. The inhabitants are renowned blacksmiths hostile to the First Order, we could intercept this scumbag there. We need to gather our forces and strike them down. Y'nessians and Asathians would be powerful allies. Good people will fight if we lead them"

Rey's eyes caught Leia's who made a sign asking her to come with her. Worried, the scavenger followed the general through the crowd into a less crowded place. Alone, at last, Leia seemed unusually agitated.

"Rey... I wish I could let you rest a bit more but with all this information we need you out there."

Rey's heart began pounding in her chest.

" But Rey, I need to know if you are capable of doing what we are asking you to accomplish. I felt something in the Force while you were away, I felt him and somehow I knew he was in danger... After what he did I could have let him in pain but I couldn't. And then you come back, weakened and troubled... Rey... you were murmuring his name and other incomprehensible things all night... "

Rey felt dizzy again, her world was crumbling to pieces and everything seemed to spin around her. She had failed the Resistance, she had let Leia down, she had betrayed all of her friends... Suddenly, Rey's torture came to an end as Leia's hand took hers.

" Is he well? I need to know Rey. Is he... coming back to the light?"

And that's when the young girl noticed the tears in the old woman eyes. She had expected everything but this. Flabbergasted, Rey's whispered.

"I- I think he saved my life more than once on Okkrion... And... even when I fled... he helped me. Leia, I don't know if he's ever coming back but the Force... it tells me to have faith... it links me to him and I'm afraid of him but also I trust him. I don't want to let you all down but I can't I-"

Leia's hands rose to cup Rey's warm cheeks and that was at that moment she knew she could let go of her burden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been writing this while listening to Fi's Farewell and Crimson Loftwing from the Zelda: Skyward Sword's soundtrack and you should listen to those songs while reading this to feel what I felt. 
> 
> I'm beyond grateful that you took the time to read this dishcloth of a fanfic.  
>  Anyway, kudos are more than appreciated and comments too.   
> Lot of love, Maïa
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr @Maxitrash  
> The tag for this fic is #BotF


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